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brian & justin smooch

January 2011

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brian & justin smooch

Long time no speak and ... thank you

Hi there to one and all and any who decide to read!

I just thought I would update on how this year has been for me. It started promisingly with what has been my final year of a Primary Education degree (for those in America, read: Elementary Teacher) and I have landed a job teaching Grade 4's (9 year olds) next year in a school only 15 minutes away - so that is exciting and nerve wracking at the same time.

Unfortunately this has all been tainted with what has been the hardest few months of my life. In late October my (then) 11 year old daughter (turned 12 on Christmas Day) had a severe headache which caused her to lose her balance and ongoing vomiting for 12 hours. After visiting the doctor the next morning, we went to the local hospital to have her checked out. It was then discovered that she had bleeding to her brain and then we were transferred via ambulance to the Royal Children's Hospital (Melbourne). After numerous scans and tests it was found that she has an AVM (arterial venous malformation) which is basically a cluster of vessels in her brain that haven't formed properly and spontaneously bled, and could bleed again. The AVM is too deep set in her brain to operate on, so we have to try and treat it via stereo tactic radiation, which hopefull will start in February. The good news is she hasn't had any further headaches since early November (after spending a hellish week in the hospital) but now we just have to wait for the treatment (which has no guarantees unfortunately) but we are trying to maintain a positive outlook and keep ours (and hers) spirits up. Needless to say this has been quite a shock as both of our children (both girls) have always been very healthy - the saying "I never thought it could happen to me" has never been more true and never so personally realised.

There is nothing more stressful than having a sick child, particularly when doctors are using words like potentially fatal bleeding and potential paralysis (due to treating the area of her brain that controls her mobility). I have sort of withdrawn from my usual hectic social life and just avoiding life in general, partly so I'm around for my family and partly as it just hurts too much to keep on talking face to face with well wishers.

So this is where my thanks come in. To all the writers at various live journal communities - you have been my sanity. I know I can't escape real life on a permanent basis, but to withdraw for even a little while and to escape reality through fanfic (and the ongoing dramas with Luke & Noah!) have helped get me through some pretty dark times. I wish I could write fiction like you do, to be able to offer something back to those communities that have allowed me to lose myself in them, so I try to comment on those fics that are truly wonderful as its just one way of saying thanks for the efforts you put into creating a world in which I can get lost.

So here's to a happy and healthy 2009 for us all....and again....thank you!



congrats on finishing your degree and the new job :)

I hope everything will work out with your daughter *hugs*

Thanx for the hugs - always appreciated!
OMG Kerryn,

How awful, I'd be insane with worry, I think you've handled it all very well, may God bless & watch over your daughter, she will be in my nightly prayers & you as well, God how stressful can that all be.

I hope you had a great Xmas, & YES you can write a B&J fic, if I can do it, so can you. Did you read my Xmas fic, the one I wrote for queer_as_xmas its a kinda sequel to At Last my 1st B&J fic, its on my LJ page down the left hand side, also posted on my journal, just go back a few entries, I hope you like it, total schmoop & porn *grins* you know me, & I swore I'd never do it again, but I kinda love the boys, IF you didn't know, so I thought, why the hell not.

Take care, may 2009, bring you much love & happiness, & a fit & healthy daughter,,Im here if you need to talk, about "anything ok",,love & best wishes,,Jackie.xx
Oh Shit I forgot to tell you the name of the fic :)

Another Christmas Day at the Kinney-Taylors !!
Jackie darlin' you are just the sweetest thing!

Firstly thank you for your thoughts and prayers - when our hands are completely tied there is always comfort in knowing you are being thought of and prayed for.

And I just love the fact you've given me a prompt to make my way back over to the BJ fics, which I haven't been on for awhile, letting my Nuke obsession taking reign for the last few months. Have always loved your stuff, will check it out and comment.

And I also love the fact that you think I could write fic - would love to one day, just not sure how lousy I would be at it- buy hey willing to give it a shot (although not a clue where to start)!

Thanks again for your wishes.
You need a good friend & an even better "beta", I had both, who really helped me out. I have a million things inside my head, I just need someone to help me get them all down :)

Whats this? you left the B&J fandom? what is Nuke, sorry I only have 1 obsession, his name is Gale Harold & oh of course B&J fanfic, so glad you saw the light & returned to us LOL.

Hope you like my little fic, I tried, Im no Plumsuede, but its my fic & my happy ending, all my love, keep in touch OK,,Hugs Jx
No, promise, never left it permanently, just on temporary hiatus!!!

And Nuke is a couple of teenage boys Luke and Noah on the daytime soap As The World Turns that I got hooked on at YouTube. They made history being the first gay couple to actually kiss on daytime, and their story has been cute and angsty (but VERY tame when you compare it to the ever so perfect Gale/Brian!!!! - am I back in your good books yet???)

Will chat soon.
Love and positive vibes to you and your family. I'll keep you in my prayers. And congratulations on earning your degree.

Thank you Liz, it's always been a pleasure to read your fic (and re-read some of your WIP!!!) and thanks for your thoughts and positive vibes - can never have enough of those!

I wish you and your daughter the best. I totally understand looking for some relief.
Thanks Jan for your wishes, sorry I haven't been active in reading your fic of late, feel guilty as you were my reason for getting involved in LJ in the first place! But will get back to your journal soon!! As mentioned have been distracted over at the Luke/Noah community for awhile, something about the innocence of these two teenagers have attracted my attention recently.

My daughter absolutely loved the bowl by the way, she was really taken with the decorative papers. Will have to check out your latest craft endeavours and see if I can get some inspiration for activities in the classroom!

Many thanks again.
*hugs* Hope 2009 brings good tidings to you and yours. And congrats on your degree & job! :) xo
Thank you sweetie for your thoughts and wishes and hugs - always welcomed!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, Kerryn - how awful. I'm so glad that Luke and Noah have helped cheer you up some. I like to read Nuke fics when I'm low too, though I certainly have nothing to complain about that's on the order of what you're going through.

Sending hugs and ♥s to you and your whole family in this difficult time. I hope the new year is a great year for all of you.

Rachel, thanks so much for your kind thoughts. And your fic has certainly been part of my prime 'cheering up time'- I always get just a little (!) excited when my flist comes up with a new entry from indigo_5!!!

Thanks xxx (and *hugs* back!)
I am sending you all my best wishes and prayers for your daughter and your whole family for the New Year.

I hope the coming year is blessed with health and happiness.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers - and how sweet to use a candle icon knowing how much I love them!!!

Much appreciated
DOH!!! Sorry, still getting used to changing the icon - how remiss of me...
Hey love! Sorry I'm late - I got a bit behind on LJ and am trying to catch up on fic comments and flist entries.

First - congrats on the degree and job! That is amazing and you should feel so proud. <3

Second - I'm terribly sorry to hear about your daughter. I can't imagine how difficult of a time this must be but am glad to hear she has been better since Nov. You'll be in my thoughts and am sending positive energy all the way from California.
Wishing you nothing but the best in the New Year and glad to know that this little crazy soap opera fandom of ours can help you in this time.

*lots of hugs your way*
Thank you so much for you reply, so amazingly warm, and just love the icon you posted - really sweet and touching. The positive energy is definitely needed and will be my focus for the next little while - and love that it's coming all the way from California!

And it sounds crazy, but this little obsession I have is truly keeping me sane!


I'm one of the mods of the luke_noah community and I just sent you a private message. Please get back to me as soon as you can. Thanks. :)

LJ wouldn't let me send you a message cause I exceeded my message limit when I was messaging all the members earlier today haha.

But here's how you lock your posts:

Do you see the link that I gave you? Those are all your posts to the community. Click on that and all you have to do is go to each one of those posts and do you see the little yellow pencil at the bottom?

It looks like this:


That's the edit button. Click on that and it'll show you your post and the options to edit it. At the very bottom on the drop down menu, there's an option that says "show this entry to" and just pick the "members" option.

And just do that to all your posts.

And, no, you don't have to do anything special to read the posts. As long as you're a member of the comm, you can still see and read them. :)

Let me know if you have more questions. :)

Thanks Moey, all done - and pass on my thanks to Che - awesome mods guys - well done!